Airport two hours before the flight
Checked in, made sure to do everything right
No gels, no pocketknife or aerosols
And no liquids more than three ounces

Oh, boarding, at gate 2 terminal C
Walk through, the metal detector goes beep
Airport security
Pulls me aside and runs the wand over
And makes me empty my pockets
Then frisks me

They frisk me, off to the side of the line
Everyone is watching, giving me the evil eye
Strip, strip, remove my belt and my shoes
Soon I am standing there in my underoos

They frisk me in a room with other criminals
8 year old girl and kindly old grandmother
Finally they find
The wand malfunctioned made that beep
But to be safe before I can board
They’ll frisk me

Frisk me just to let me get on a plane
Screw this. It is way too much of a pain
Next time I’ll just drive
Take the Greyhound or train
It’s slower but at least I know they won’t
Won’t frisk me
Don’t frisk me
Don’t frisk me

Don’t frisk me