You don’t bring me flowers.
You don’t cook me brownies.
My friends said don’t date your dealer but I thought it rude
To turn down the offer of free love, and free ‘luudes.
I vaguely remember when

You took me to a movie
Then slipped me half a roofie
After sipping your soda I cannot begin
To describe what it’s like having spiders crawling under your skin.
You invited me to your room
Where you offered me a mushroom.
What we did that night drove me up the wall
When I licked your stamp paper, and did half an eight-ball.
I felt so special when you brought to me
The flowers you grew on your cannabis tree.
We smoked half a bowl and were high until three!
But you don’t bring me flowers anymore.

You took me to a party
And spiked the punch with GHB.
If you were to leave me my heart it would break.
Just thinking about it, and I get the shakes.
I loved having someone who smiles and shares.
It was pure ecstasy when I sampled your wares.
And when you didn’t charge me I thought, “Well, she cares.”
But you don’t bring me samples anymore.

But something’s changed. Now it seems
I’m not the man of your dreams.
You found I was taking too much for free.
I’m sorry your source had to break your left knee.
You once took me to your bed.
Now you say I’m just a deadhead.
You left in a huff when I held out the hope
You’d leave the apartment and forget all your dope.
You broke up with me in the same breath
That you accused me of licking your pet toad Leary to death
But that little fucker made off with my meth!
I’m getting so choked…Ever since we broke up…
You don’t let me toke up anymore.

Now you say I’m a mooch, ‘cause I stole all your smack,
Popped all your pills, and smoked all your crack
But we just did twelve lines; who could ever keep track?
Oh to be embracing…while we’re both freebasing…
The green dragon chasing evermore…