In the E.R.
At the Princeton Plainsboro
Teaching Hospital, in New Jersey

Patient’s in pain
What’s the diagnosis
Do we listen to the experts
Or the subtle sarcastic
Insights of a mean
Limpings genius

Gregory House
A medical Sherlock Holmes
He’s so very good
Gets away with lots
He shoots off his mouth
When he’s not swallowing Vicodin
Treatments are just so unlikely to do
Just too bad it’s true

Our House is a very very very mean House
Team of three in his ward
The right diagnosis is hard
But send House and it’s easy
‘Cause he’s cool
Greg House

Our House leads his team as he’ll deliberate and grouse
The whiteboard is full to see
Of differential diagnoses
The cure is easy cause
It’s not Lupis
Greg House

I’ll watch on Fox
As he insults patients who come to him for help
In his special way

Weight Goes Bye-Bye
A parody of Days Go By by Dirty Vegas
Backing track source: http://www.karaoke-version.com/mp3-backingtrack/dirty-vegas/days-go-by.html

I am a lawyer who is obese
Accidentally run over a gypsy
Cursed for my sin

Now, because I acted worse
I’m victim of a gypsy curse
It’s turning me thin

Weight goes bye bye and at first it’s great
Waste away I am losing too much weight

Days go by and still the curse has stayed
Thinner than if I had used Jenny Craig

I’m Thinner
I’m Thinner

You whisper a curse on your lips
Touched me with your fingertips
Look like I’m in famine

My comeuppence you reimburse
Feeling as if I’ve been cursed
Lots of excess skin

Weight goes bye-bye quickly goes away
Gonna waste away to noth ing someday

I’m Thinner
Thinner

Waist away stop this curse or I’ll die
Force gypsy to put it in a pie

Spread the curse and it will save my life
So please can I offer you a slice

I’m Thinner
I’m Thinner
I’m Thinner