Simmons and Grif are standing watch
Wondering why they are in Blood Gulch
Sarge wants a new gun to frag
Donut goes to capture the flag
Back at base bugs in the software of blues
Shiela the tank and the brain of Caboose
Church and Tucker and Tex on staff
Rooster-Teeth’s Red Versus Blue makes us laugh

Rooster-Teeth’s Red Versus Blue
Machinamation will amuse
Panic bells in the red base
When the blue team gets their own tank
The war machine grinds to pause
An indifferent fight without a cause
It’s more a puma than a warthog
As Rooster Teeths’ Red Versus Blue goes on

Caboose blast Church and he is toast
Until he comes back as a ghost
Blue team scurries in a hurry
Hires Tex Freelancer mercenary
Not only is she not a guy
She comes with O’Malley warped AI
Joins Lopez’s head and Doc with no name
And maybe Red and Blue are both the same

Church jumps through time to stop a bomb
That shoots him back to Marathon
Gary tells jokes and calls him Shinso
Then Bungee jumps to Halo 2
Winning this war might be hard
Paired with team-killing fucktards
Andy the bomb wants to blow sky high
As Rooster-Teeth’s Red Versus Blue goes by

In Spanish only Lopez will talk
While the alien goes “Blarg honk honk”
Tucker alien impregnating
Part of a convoluted scheme
Tex out of mind cannot recall
There’s no real progress after all
And here we are teams Red and Blue
It’s not lightish-red, so let it go