Hello there, sir, my name’s Bowser
As King Koopa also known
I attacked the mushroom kingdom
Stole their princess and the throne
Filled the land with koopa troopas
Goombas, Bob-ombs and dry bones
Piranha plants, Boos, bullet bills and others

I kidnapped princess peach
And hid her deep in my abode
In each castle left a kid of mine
And that whiny mushroom Toad
Everything was going great til
One day in on Yoshi rode
A duo pair of overall wearing brothers

And now it’s getting to quite a bummer
I’m getting beaten by a plumber

How do you solve a problem like Mario?
How do you stop a plumber of such power?
Touching a red mushroom will make him grow
And he shoots fireballs whenever he gets a flower

Touching a star makes him invulnerable
Touch a brown leaf he get a tail to fly
I kill him with an attack
But he keeps on coming back
How do you stop a foe who does not die?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Mario
Keeps finding green mushrooms to get another guy

Now no matter where we meet
I always wind up getting beat
Does not even matter what event I choose
Playing tennis or soccer
Or super smash brawl or
Party games in the end I always loose

Whether painting some art
Or racing in a kart
Somehow Mario will always win the day
He’s a boxing ref, pro golfer
He’s a party host, a doctor
I cannot even beat him when he’s a baby!

How do you solve a problem like Mario?
How do you stop Luigi coming too?
He beat Donkey Kong, Birdo, and Wario
Takes flight when Yoshi swallows a shell that’s blue

His princess is always in another castle
He’s not discouraged and still always finds her
And sure he may look cute
In his frog and tanooki suit
Collecting the coins and clearing every world

Oh, How do you solve a problem like Mario?
Why do they love this plumber and not Bowser?