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Rakin’


A parody of Bacon by the Great Luke Ski

Now you can see a guy like me does not like doing chores
Think that vacuuming just sucks and doing dishes is a bore
And I hate to wash the windows and the dusting drives me nuts
Avoid the ironing and laundry and most every duty but
There’s one chore out in the garden which will leave me elatin’
You’ll never have to remind me it’s the first chore that I’m takin
Care to finish do it right so it is not mistaken
To put it plain and simply
…I….love…raking!
I love raking up the mowing. I love raking up dead leaves
I love raking fallen branches. I love raking up debris
I love raking driveway gravel. It fulfills an empty yen
I love raking sand to make a little garden for the zen
I do not find it tedious. I do not find it hard
When I finish raking up the front I rake my neighbors yard
I go raking up the sidewalk I go raking up the road
I raked every patio and park that is in my zip code
Raking is so pleasant it’s so awesome it’s so fun
Raking is the action that I rank as number one
Raking is so centering, so peaceful, it’s so great
When the buddah wasn’t meditating you know he would rake

I go raking after breakfast I go raking after lunch
Take my snack break and go raking yeah I love to rake a bunch
I go raking after dinner and raking after dessert
Got a blister from my raking cause I’m raking till it hurts
So call me a nerd if you think that it’s absurd
But you know raking takes the cake no faking or haven’t you heard?
I love raking all alone and I love raking with a group
Use a rake instead of shovel to clean up the doggie poop
I love raking fully clothed and I love raking when I’m bare
Threw my comb away and then I used a rake to comb my hair
News is breakin’ I love raking no mistaking there’s no doubt
And because Luke Ski did it first now I will have to spell it out
R is for how rakish your look when you’re holding that stick
A is for artistic cause it’s in American Gothic
K I’ll keep on cleaning till my hands are sore and ache
E for Excalibur given by Lady of the rake.
Raking is so awesome. Raking is the sport of kings
Raking brings my soul alive causes my heart to sing
Raking’s an addict just a bit will calm the shakes
Sometimes I wake up in cold sweats and terror did I forget to rake?!

Some say that it’s a bummer but I never will complain
I just go rakin’ rakin’ raking I got rakes upon the brain
I love raking when I’m outdoors I love raking when I’m in
I would rake each Sunday even if the church made it a sin
Raking is my favorite thing to do though it seems odd
Some use praying I find raking is what gets me close to god
I love raking when I’m serious and raking when I spoof
What’s even madder climbed a ladder so that I could rake the roof
I go raking after work and I go raking on vacations
Brought it with me on an airplane to go rake some other nations
Samuel Jackson saw my rake while we were flying and exclaimed
“there’s a muthafuckin rake up on the muthafucking plane!”
Raking keeps my yard clean but it’s so much more than that
Raking burns those calories keeps me from getting fat.
Rake the lawn and rake the carpet I would even rake a rug
And if my rake could hug me back I’d give my rake a great big hug

Raking is so perfect that it must be heaven sent
Raking will soon become a new Olympic event
Hey, what happened to the song
I took a break to go out raking cause it’s going on too long!
Raking gives you peace and plenty. Raking grants you power
Rake it is the implement of choice to search and scour
Raking is the answer it’s the future, don’tcha know

Got my teeth in the raking business now I’m raking in the dough
Raking Raking Raking Raking Raking is my favorite chore
Raking Raking Raking Raking Raking wanna rake some more
Say, you’re garden looks so lovely. Think that you could give a tour?
AS IF I HAVE THE TIME TO DO YARD WORK ANYMORE!