There comes a time
In every video game
When you find yourself surrounded by bad guys
You kill them quickly
Then move on through the game
But never even think about their lives.

Sometimes we are ghosts
Monsters, robots or zombies
Or orcs or just some thugs who are always in the way
We fill the levels
Until you reach the end
And without us there is not much game to play

We are the horde
We are the minions
We are the guys you must defeat before you can beat
The end villain
You’ll work through our numbers
Though it may cost a few lives
You’ll make up when our death
Gives you XP

Use us to practice
All your combos and new moves
If we hit you it will barely ding your health
And if we hurt you, you can buy a few more hearts
With the money you collect upon our death.

We are the horde
We are the minions
If you come back you’ll find us to attack
We keep respawning
There’s a choice you’re making
Will you fight or run away?
Either way you’ll have to fight another guy
Who looks just like me

When you’re down and out
And the end guy is just too strong
We’ll help you level
If you come and farm
So now up raise your controllers
And please show some respect
To honor those who attack you in a swarm

We are the horde
We are the minions
We want your respect and love and for you to not shoot us in the head.
Just remember that your XP
Cost many minion’s lives
While we stand around in groups
Of three or five

We are the horde
We are the minions
We never asked to be attacked by a sword swinging hero
It’s not personal
When we run up and attack
Since you’re about to
Do the same to me.

We are the horde
We are the minions
But we have hopes and dreams and lives that
End thanks to your killing
Stop attacking us.
Let us find our destinies
Of standing in one spot
And looking menacing

We are the horde
We are the minions.
If not for us all RPGs would be lame and just one-on-one fighting games
We’re the silent hill nurses
Goombas, ninjas and nazis
Next time you turn on your game
It’s us you’ll see