If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
I would have a bailout (I would have a bailout)
If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
I’d buy mortages on a forclosed house (and all those crazy distressed mortgages)
If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
Help Fannie May and Freddie Mac (and other mortage financers)
If I had 700 billion dollars, I’d buy a legacy

If I had 700 billion dollars
Oh boy wouldn’t that be neat
If I had 700 billion dollars
I could help clean up Wall street
If I had 700 billion dollars
Maybe would even go a bit higher
Maybe $1 trillion. Maybe not. But maybe so no one knows
Hey, call me naïve, but don’t republicans claim that democrats are the ones who ruin the economy?
Yeah, well, you’re arguing with people who think of eleven zeroes as a friendly loan.

If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
I’d help out JP Morgan Chase (and maybe others like Bear Stearn)
If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
I’d buy mortages and resell (to investors who don’t know a bad investment)
If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
I’d help hold off the depression (at least long enough for the next guy to deal with it)
If I had 700 billion dollars I’d buy a legacy

If I had 700 billion dollars,
I could blame it on computer flops
If I had 700 billion dollars
I could blame credit-default swaps
If I had 700 billion dollars we wouldn’t have to worry about the economy but we would worry about the economy of course, we’d just have worry about it more.
Aren’t republicans the ones who say they want to keep government small? Heck, at this rate, pretty soon we won’t have one at all! That’s not funny! No, it’s really not

If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
I would not get the sack (Clinton was impeached for way less than this)
If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
I’d end my presidency in the black (not counting that14 trillion deficit)
If I had 700 billion dollars (If I had 700 billion dollars)
I’d buy a good presidency (you know I’ve always wanted a legacy)
If I had 700 billion dollars (keep in mind that’s not 7 million)
If I had 700 billion dollars (not even 7 billion!)
If I had 700 billion dollars You’d still be screwed.