Now I am on vacation
At some third rate resort
This place sucks
I holler
Don’t give f**k if I saved a few dollars

This is the worst resort

I arrived here yesterday
Looks like the room
Ain’t been cleaned
Since last Labor Day
What a place to go on a holiday
Knew I should have packed more aerosol bug spray
Would it be nice
Would it be mean
If I checked out right now
And slept on the street
Chances are its way more clean
And I’m contemplating a cardboard box

‘Cause this place is the dregs
This place is sheer hell
Think I’d prefer it in the Shining hotel
This place is a dump
This place is a sty
Zagat’s gave it two stars and that’s two more than I

I never realized Expedia could be betray
Now it is too late
And I’m stuck in this place
Hungry
No room service
Montazuma’s revenge
Downward spiral that won’t stop it’s descent
I can’t relax ‘cause there no fun in reach
Tennis court full of holes
And needles on the beach
Drinking the tap water here looks kinda green
And I think it’s a good bet I’m gonna need vaccines

‘Cause this place is a loss
This place is not neat
Slept on the floor cause roaches stole my sheets
This place is a bust
This place is the plague
No bible in the drawer so I can’t pray for aid
Find new resort
Somewhere refined
Can’t get an outside line
No line
No lying
I’m crying
No line

I can’t go on. The shower sprays brown

Cut short this bad vacation
This is the worst resort
Pool algae
Is thriving
Didn’t notice until halfway through diving
Would it be good
Would it be bad
To up and ditch this pad
Hotel staff stole my bags
Infected wound from pinching crab
And I’m contemplating going home

Cause I’m losing my cool
Losing my mind
Lost my camera and my faith in mankind
Losing my calm
Losing all fun
Lost a day to dysentery in the john
No one here’s nice
They are all jerks
Actually looking forward to work.

I hate this place my trip is stained
Won’t come back
Help me pack
That resort sucks!